Good Guys, Bad Guys; White Hats, Black Hats

All the NRA had to do was keep quiet in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre. Just blank all the noise about gun control because something new will come along to fill our screens. Like snow. Instead they (and "they" are without doubt a committee laden with consultants) decided to muddy the waters with the heavily armed Good Guys protecting schools from the Bad Guys scheme. After some outrage and careful explanation of how this scheme will not work (see below), and a few fleeting photo ops (Photoshops?) of volunteer gunmen in front of a school, the world for 99.99% of us will be the same as before Adam Lanza ever picked up a gun.
But I figured out where the NRA got their idea.

New NRA School Patrol

All those old Western movies where the good guy wears a white hat and the bad guy wears a black hat- it's all so obvious.

The bad guys buy the land under the school and want to put up a tannery. Or something. Gene Autry, or Red Ryder, or anyone in a white hat battle away until they get the deed that shows Old Widow Crocker donated the land to the county. Or similar. The good guy always wins despite overwhelming odds because we're not supposed to notice the bad guys telegraphing every punch. Good, bad, simple- it's the American Way! What, do you hate America?
I live near an elementary school and I will demonstrate how the super school patrol can fail. Where will the new guard be? Standing out front? Maybe for a day or two in fair weather. Then he will settle into a routine of dozing by the front door, checking out the MILFs when they come in, gently resting in a pile of powdered sugar as nothing happens for days, years on end.

Future NRA School Patrol

All future Adam Lanza has to do is-

1. 1- Drive an unremarkable white van (delivery, trades?) around back (two- no- three ways in) and shoot through the windows.
2. 2- Park on an adjacent street and walk in.
3. 3- he could wait until school gets out and take his chances from an adjoining driveway.

It doesn't take a genius to see the NRA scheme is doomed to failure- it didn't work in Sandy Hook. But I had fun looking for the illustrations.
Hi Ho Excelsior- away!

Teacher Seniority

There is a story in today's Globe  about teachers' unions disagreements about ending teacher seniority.  Since I cannot leave a comment on their website I'll put it here.

The three worst high school teachers I had, had the most seniority.  One was a not past-it, but never there former football coach.  I was his favorite because all we did was play trivia quizzes and I aced them.  His colleagues dipped into department funds to buy out his contract, just to get rid of him.  "Cut my budget and raise my teaching load?  Where do I sign?"

Then we had a French teacher who was a great years before, but lapsed into indifference.  He lived in Manchester and taped Hollywood movies dubbed into French from CKSH.  We watched "Shining: L'enfant lumière" complete with ads for the Sherbrooke Pontiac dealer on numerous occasions.


Then we had an English teacher who would pick out a few un-favorites and give them grief, always threatening to fail us (I was one victim) because 4 years of English is a requirement in New Hampshire.  One friend transferred out because there was another class in his period.  One day she sent me to the principal to have me kicked out.  I said no because I was goddamned if I was going to spend another year in school.  The principal called my father with the line "we've never had a complaint about this teacher" which I knew from older students was bullshit.  The principal, known for stern discipline, slowly slumped in his chair and turned ashen as my father reamed him out over the phone.  Result- I stayed, my grade went from 50 to 96; she stayed and pulled the same theatrics the next year.   


And don't forget the calculus teacher who was more concerned that we copy down what she wrote than understand it.  The guy with the best grade ignored her and read the textbook instead.  I never thought of a textbook as a cohesive text before.


All 30 year veterans.


On the other hand, we had a great English teacher who actually cared that we do well.  She got the sack after her first and only year because it was "last in, first out" for the pension patriots.  That was in 1991.  Who knows if this dedicated, caring woman ever taught again, public or private?   How many thousands more teaching graduates will never get the chance to shine, toiling in the drudgery of temping and waitressing while the hacks pack their pension.


Keeping seniority will doom whatever sprigs of hope pop up in public education, and forever engrave "Those who can, do,  Those who can't, teach" into America's future.