Good Guys, Bad Guys; White Hats, Black Hats

All the NRA had to do was keep quiet in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre. Just blank all the noise about gun control because something new will come along to fill our screens. Like snow. Instead they (and "they" are without doubt a committee laden with consultants) decided to muddy the waters with the heavily armed Good Guys protecting schools from the Bad Guys scheme. After some outrage and careful explanation of how this scheme will not work (see below), and a few fleeting photo ops (Photoshops?) of volunteer gunmen in front of a school, the world for 99.99% of us will be the same as before Adam Lanza ever picked up a gun.
But I figured out where the NRA got their idea.

New NRA School Patrol

All those old Western movies where the good guy wears a white hat and the bad guy wears a black hat- it's all so obvious.

The bad guys buy the land under the school and want to put up a tannery. Or something. Gene Autry, or Red Ryder, or anyone in a white hat battle away until they get the deed that shows Old Widow Crocker donated the land to the county. Or similar. The good guy always wins despite overwhelming odds because we're not supposed to notice the bad guys telegraphing every punch. Good, bad, simple- it's the American Way! What, do you hate America?
I live near an elementary school and I will demonstrate how the super school patrol can fail. Where will the new guard be? Standing out front? Maybe for a day or two in fair weather. Then he will settle into a routine of dozing by the front door, checking out the MILFs when they come in, gently resting in a pile of powdered sugar as nothing happens for days, years on end.

Future NRA School Patrol

All future Adam Lanza has to do is-

1. 1- Drive an unremarkable white van (delivery, trades?) around back (two- no- three ways in) and shoot through the windows.
2. 2- Park on an adjacent street and walk in.
3. 3- he could wait until school gets out and take his chances from an adjoining driveway.

It doesn't take a genius to see the NRA scheme is doomed to failure- it didn't work in Sandy Hook. But I had fun looking for the illustrations.
Hi Ho Excelsior- away!

Spare a Thought for the Atheists

The subject of God came up in connection with the massacre at Sandy Hook school in Newtown, CT. God, gods, spirits, angels- anything supernatural is the construct of the human mind. Did you see the ghost of a deceased loved one? So have I. Only later I realized I was asleep- a dream- a fancy of brain chemistry.

 You may think you are selfless and giving when you pray for someone. In reality you are just patting yourself on the back for… nothing. Words and good will are meaningless, to say you are praying for me is the ultimate insult. Nothing would send me to an early grave as soon as waking in a hospital bed to see a priest (the Church I left). Do me and millions (billions?) more a favor and keep your prayers to yourself.

How Can I Have Skipped Candlepin Bowling?

Below is a video of the late great Stasia Czernicki. Whatever her accomplishment on the lanes, she lives on in our family because she was Polish and from central Mass. Central Massachusetts is that flyover country between 495 and Northampton. You went to the Worcester Centrum once and got lost both ways. Anyway, notice how you hold the ball in your hand in a manner obvious to any human from the Rift of Africa forward. No holes for fingers and twisted wrist movements. I worked in a garment factory where one day we were cutting red webbing for suspenders from rolls with thick cardboard cores in the middle. I decided they looked liked candlepins, so three of us taped rolls into taller pins, used the webbing as bumpers, with rubber band balls (made earlier) about the right size, and spent a few hours bowling in a back corner. Worked great! No holes, simple pins. Apparently hitting just the 2 and 8 is a "half Worcester."

Neo Liberals, the "Tea Party", and Libertarians

Out of the blue a truth about Neo Liberals came to me- they're losers, total failures.  At the top are a few  greedy tax dodgers like the Koch Brothers funding their movement.   Then the arguers, apologists, and debate club pains-in-the-asses who are the "intellectuals".   And there are a handful of true color Libertarians, as much as 1% of the electorate.   The vast majority of knuckledraggers, almost to a man an "independent contractor", have failed so horribly in the world of paid employment that they had to become the sainted small businessman yeomanry because they totally failed at working with others.   Don't give me any laid off bullshit- you got the sack solely because you are an asshole.

Why do they blame the gubmint for every evil?  Because they won't take responsibility for their own failures.    They know, although few have read Ayn Rand (Ayn Rand, Ein Reich, Ein Volk), that they would be just miserable in a Randian/Libertarian/Neo Liberal fantasy land.    Why do they hate people like me, even worse off than they are?   The pecking order.

Someone above them pecks their head and instead of taking it and moving on, they peck the next man down.    They want nothing less than the return of slavery.   They want someone to grovel at their feet for every crumb so they can feel power in a world in which they can't function.   Pathetic.

There are 300 million of us.   Government is the way we manage competing interests.   The magic of the market is just that- sleight of hands, mirrors, and pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.    One fine day in 2008 nobody bought or sold bonds. NO ONE.    Market failure- who bailed out the market?    Did The Market bail out the market?    You did, asshole.  Grow up.

1812 and All That (If Only)

I get a kick out of this old patriotic, loyalist stuff. Make the heart swell and that. Never felt the same about America. We almost made it out, too. In 1814 the Royal Navy extended its blockade of the United States to include New England. Nantucket lasted a few weeks and gave in- they made a separate peace with the British. This unleashed a cascade of similar deals up and down the coast. Massachusetts told London they'd come back when this whole Life, Liberty, Purfuit malarkey fell apart. I don't know about Connecticut or Vermont, but the rest of us would have seceded if the British government hadn't decided what with Napoleon vanquished there wasn't much point continuing. A bit late for the Battle of New Orleans, but there you go.
Just think- a head of state far away instead of glad handing and podium pounding every few years; ideals of peace, order, and good government, instead of how can I strut my stuff and make all my neighbors miserable; not being hated for something some blowhard in Tennessee says; a dollar worth a dollar. So close! This will never appear in any Rockets Red Glare history textbook. Who won the War of 1812? Canada- ask any Canadian.

Our Best Estimate

I found this story by Christopher Joyce from August on NPR's website.

Modern architecture loves glass. Glass makes interiors brighter and adds sparkle to cityscapes. But glass also kills millions of birds every year when they collide with windows. Biologists say as more glass buildings go up, more birds are dying... A lot of them do, and die. "Our best estimate is 100 million to a billion" birds in North America die this way every year, she says

It sounds like ornithologists have a problem but they don't know how big it is. Perhaps they could have said, "We have a problem, but we don't know how big it is."

BEWARE GREAT FUN

If you buy from Ticketmaster there will be a link for a $15 rebate with a phone number.  DO NOT CALL IT- IT IS A PHISHING EXPEDITION.     Great Fun is an arm of Trilegeant Corporation (motto: We Have Rights.  You Do Not) renowned for charging you for services you never ordered and never received.  In anticipation of trouble I wrote this letter to Ticketmaster:

Dear Ticketmaster,

Like a fool I clicked on the Great Fun $15 rebate under my confirmation, and called the number.   Although I made it perfectly clear I did not want to join Great Fun, I now realize it is an arm of Trilegeant.   Trilegeant is the sleaziest business in the world and if I hear anything more than junk mail from them, Ticketmaster and everyone I meet will hear about your company's involvement with those dirtbags.  You may be the only ticket seller, but I have the internet, which has countless millions of entertainment options of which you don't get a piece.   If Trilegeant screws me, I will never use your company's service again, and I've got about 40 years left to not do so.

And I love how your website only allows email queries that fit carefully selected categories.  Nothing says "customer service" better than "you can only ask the questions we want you to ask."

Go in Peace,

28 September.  We'll see.

Teacher Seniority

There is a story in today's Globe  about teachers' unions disagreements about ending teacher seniority.  Since I cannot leave a comment on their website I'll put it here.

The three worst high school teachers I had, had the most seniority.  One was a not past-it, but never there former football coach.  I was his favorite because all we did was play trivia quizzes and I aced them.  His colleagues dipped into department funds to buy out his contract, just to get rid of him.  "Cut my budget and raise my teaching load?  Where do I sign?"

Then we had a French teacher who was a great years before, but lapsed into indifference.  He lived in Manchester and taped Hollywood movies dubbed into French from CKSH.  We watched "Shining: L'enfant lumière" complete with ads for the Sherbrooke Pontiac dealer on numerous occasions.


Then we had an English teacher who would pick out a few un-favorites and give them grief, always threatening to fail us (I was one victim) because 4 years of English is a requirement in New Hampshire.  One friend transferred out because there was another class in his period.  One day she sent me to the principal to have me kicked out.  I said no because I was goddamned if I was going to spend another year in school.  The principal called my father with the line "we've never had a complaint about this teacher" which I knew from older students was bullshit.  The principal, known for stern discipline, slowly slumped in his chair and turned ashen as my father reamed him out over the phone.  Result- I stayed, my grade went from 50 to 96; she stayed and pulled the same theatrics the next year.   


And don't forget the calculus teacher who was more concerned that we copy down what she wrote than understand it.  The guy with the best grade ignored her and read the textbook instead.  I never thought of a textbook as a cohesive text before.


All 30 year veterans.


On the other hand, we had a great English teacher who actually cared that we do well.  She got the sack after her first and only year because it was "last in, first out" for the pension patriots.  That was in 1991.  Who knows if this dedicated, caring woman ever taught again, public or private?   How many thousands more teaching graduates will never get the chance to shine, toiling in the drudgery of temping and waitressing while the hacks pack their pension.


Keeping seniority will doom whatever sprigs of hope pop up in public education, and forever engrave "Those who can, do,  Those who can't, teach" into America's future.